Monday, August 3, 2009
Welcome To The Heartbreak Hotel
So it's been a week since I've got the trap from the city of Bayonne
and i've got some results to report. I've caught a total of six
cats this week. I caught three the first day. Now, I fully expect
to be awarded the key to the city or named cat catcher of the
month for my efforts in capturing these ferocious beasts. Can
one man make a difference I figured that would surely put a
dent in the feline population. But on Saturday an hour after I
cut the grass a freshly laid Winston appeared. It was about
three inches long and torpedo shaped for anyone thats keeping
track. I thought I was doing well, but it appears I have more work
to do. I've started documenting my captives now for my archives.
Strangely they are all grey with wonky eyes. One theory is that I've
caught the same cat six times. Now, I was assured that these cats
would be taken to a shelter and adopted(I enjoy catching my
furry tormentors, but I don't want to contribute to their deaths).
I'm thinking the animal control guy takes the cats around the
corner and sets them free in the park. Only to find their way back
into my clutches. These cats love hot dogs. They cannot
resist. Who knew?I cut them up into four bite sized pieces and place them into
the trap. At least they get a free hotdog meal before they get
sent off to the shelter/park. I started thinking since these cats
love hot dogs so much, they are willing to climb into a trap,
what would you use to trap me? It probably would be a combo
of beer, cheetos and Princess Leah.
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